School is out for another year. I took my last two finals today, which should mean a few days of seemingly endless relaxation before the truth sets in that summer doesn’t last forever. But I feel weird today. It doesn’t feel like summer to me at all, not yet. It doesn’t even feel close to summer, or at least what summer used to feel like. I used to get an adrenaline rush around this time of year, knowing that I had three months to waste in whatever way I wanted.
But this year… something’s off. Something just feels wrong somehow. I don’t know what it is; the finals went fine. I finished with an A in Spanish and aced the Physics final. English and Health were pretty easy, and that AP test passed more than three weeks ago. I’m good with everything else too, nothing wrong with family or friends. I have an idea of the story I want to write over the summer, and I honestly feel like I have the time and ability to finish it this time.
Still though, something feels funny. Maybe I’m being paranoid, but it seems like there’s a nasty surprise right around the corner that I’m about to run into at full force. Do you know that feeling when you walk into a dark room and instinctively want to check behind the door for a murderer? No? Well, imagine it. That’s exactly what I feel like right now.
SONG OF THE DAY: KOTOV SYNDROME
Or maybe I’m just spending a few days in Limbo, that place between heaven and hell. Maybe I just can’t believe that another school year is over. I never was good with change.
But that still doesn’t explain why, three days ago, I felt so right. I couldn’t wait for this afternoon, when I could finally relax again. And now I feel like I want to look over my shoulder every other second because my instincts are screaming that there’s something unexpected waiting around the corner.
Adios. I’ll see you all tomorrow. Maybe by then this little bout of paranoia will finally be over.
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